Starting home education can feel exciting, daunting and pretty overwhelming.
But you don’t have to get it all right at the start, in fact, you won't. What you can do is give yourself and your kids time and space to grow into it. Here are a few Tried-and-Tested Do’s and Don’ts that I learned the hard way, which I hope will make the early days smoother for you.
5 Things to Do
1. Do let go of unrealistic expectations.
If you’re imagining a beautiful learning set-up, joyful moments all through the day and buzzing learning every hour, you could be heading for disappointment (and probably burnout). Despite the images of beautiful learning happening on social media, the reality of home education is much more varied. There are wonderful days, frustrating days, ordinary days and days when nothing goes to plan. The good bits are still very good, they just exist alongside the more challenging, messy and mundane bits.
2. Do work out what matters.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of filling your week with activities, groups and educational resources simply because they’re available. Instead, take some time to think about what you actually want your home education to be like. What matters most to your family? What do you want more time for? What are you hoping your children will gain from these years?
If your children are old enough, talk to them about it. It can be a lovely way to start home education with a positive picture of what this new way of learning might look like, while also finding out what they’re excited about. You don’t need to have everything mapped out - things will change as your children grow - but having a sense of direction can help you decide what to say yes to, and just as importantly, what to say no to.
3. Do make sure it works for everyone (that includes you!)
Home education can easily become centred around what the children want to do, but your needs matter too. Choose activities and outings that you also really enjoy where you can, and make sure there’s space in your week for chores and admin (so they don't pile up too much), as well as rest and things you enjoy for yourself. You don’t have to fill every day with activities - a quiet day or two at home can be just as valuable, and often more so, than a packed day out. Your own interests and enjoyment can have a much bigger impact on the whole family than you might think.
4 Do start small with groups and activities.
It’s tempting to sign up for everything, especially in September and especially if you're feeling lonely and sidelined. But rushing from one activity to another, packing lunches and travelling around a lot becomes exhausting very quickly. Days and weeks can fill up surprisingly fast. Begin with a couple of things you genuinely enjoy and build from there. You can always add more later, but it’s much harder to claw back your time once your week is full.
5 Do connect with other home ed families - but don't panic if it takes a while.
Finding other people who just ‘get it’ can make all the difference. There are plenty of places to connect online, which can be really useful, but online spaces can also become overwhelming. Having people you meet up with regularly in person feels different, and really helps.
It can take time to find people you genuinely click with, and friendships for both you and your children don’t necessarily happen straight away. Don’t panic if you don’t immediately find your people. Going to the same groups regularly gives relationships time to develop, so even if things feel a little uncomfortable at first, it’s often worth persevering.
5 Things Not to Do
1. Don’t try to recreate school.
Home ed isn’t school. The parent-child dynamic is completely different to the teacher-child one, and rigid routines rarely work at home. Flexibility and adaptability is important but they can take a while to get used to. Start with seeing what your child is naturally drawn to and where their energy and enthusiasm lie and work from there. Read more about this here.
2. Don’t try to keep everything under control.
Mess comes with the territory in home education. You’re spending a lot of time together, and your children are likely to have all sorts of projects, books, toys and ideas going on. But too much chaos doesn’t work for everyone, and neither does trying to keep everything under control at all times.
The key is finding a balance where you're not stifling their creativity, but you're also not going beyond what you can actually handle. Having parts of the house that are out of bounds for toys and mess is absolutely fine, you have every right to a quiet, uncluttered area. But your children also need space to make a mess. Getting the balance right means everyone can enjoy the space.
3. Don’t buy everything you think you need straight away.
Expensive curriculums and shiny new books and resources might look amazing, but first start by watching how your kids actually learn and what you can manage. This will save you money, save you time trawling through resources, and also save you some stress.
4. Don't compare your journey to other families.
It’s easy to feel a bit inadequate when you hear about what others are doing, but everyone’s path is different. Keeping a little record of what your kids are doing - the little achievements and great moments - can be a good reminder of why you’re doing this and help you feel more confident.
5. Don’t mistake social media for expertise.
Social media can be brilliant for finding ideas, resources and other home educators, but it can also become overwhelming. When you're new to home ed, it's easy to keep looking for the next idea, the next useful resource or some reassurance that you're doing it right. Be mindful about who you follow and take a little time to think about where advice is coming from, particularly when it comes to resources, services and strong opinions about how home education should be done.
Social media can be a useful place to discover things, but it shouldn't replace advice from knowledgeable, credible sources where that matters. And you don't need to keep up with all of it - it can be surprisingly freeing to step away if it's taking up your time but providing little benefit.
☎️ If you ever feel like you're struggling with home education and need a bit more support, I now offer mentoring calls via Streams Education. You can find more details here or email me at jo@thehomeedhelp.com.
💚 You can also take a look at my series A Learning Environment That Works. It's an ongoing series of posts that walks you through what's really important when it comes to helping both our kids - and ourselves - get the most out of home ed.