So many of us start out with ideal expectations of home ed. A deep connection with our kids, a home buzzing with learning (perhaps with a shiny new curriculum) and each child flourishing at their own pace.
But then comes the hard bit - actually making it work every day.
Maybe you hoped your child would have picked up certain skills by now, but progress feels slower than you expected. Maybe you envisioned endless energy and enthusiasm for all their interests, but you feel tired all the time. Or maybe the harmonious, joy-filled family life you envisioned is at odds with the reality of daily big emotions and a partner who resists home ed.
My Exhausting Pursuit of ‘All The Things’
I've pushed through several times with 'ideal scenarios' that actually don't work for us at all. For example, we lived in a city with a thriving home ed community, and I wanted us to be involved with all of the cool and interesting groups, workshops and meet-ups that were happening. Because of this, we spent a lot of our days travelling all over the place.
But I was exhausted! I kept doing it because I thought my kids needed all of these groups, but if it meant I was constantly tired and cranky, was it really worth it? I knew deep down that how I showed up as a mum - my energy, my attention, my mindset - was more important than the number of activities they were doing, but it wasn't always easy to accept that when faced with competing ideals.
Eventually we cut back on the groups and focused on what we could do more locally and at home. And surprisingly quickly, things felt a bit easier. I had more energy and patience, they seemed more relaxed and had space and time to really play and get stuck into their interests. They even told me they preferred these slower weeks and didn't like being too busy anyway!
This is just one example, but I've often found myself in this scenario - resisting the reality in front of me in favour of an ideal - and been worse off for it. It's shown me that accepting things as they are and working from that point outwards is always the better option. Recognising those limits and what's actually going on in our lives feels so important and it forces us to question whether holding onto an ideal is really worth it.
Dream Big, Stay Grounded
We often have a gut feeling when something isn't working, but it can be hard to face up to it. Dreaming big is great, it’s a brilliant place to start with any new plan, but being realistic is just as important. Knowing this can unlock unexpected opportunities and free up a lot of energy. It allows us to focus on what's happening right in front of us, because that's where our energy and attention actually matter.
This is something I'd love to explore further. Coming soon is my In-Depth guide 'Reality Check' which will help you take a step back, assess your current situation and reconnect with what’s truly important for your family.
And you may want to take a look at my In-Depth guide: More Than Just Surviving, aimed at supporting you enjoy rather than endure the home ed journey.